


Comfort and Lies

by elliemoran



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bad Days, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hidden Talents, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Torture, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) and Cleaning, Lies, M/M, Professors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 08:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21389446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliemoran/pseuds/elliemoran
Summary: Eren is having a really bad day, and Levi wants to help make it better any way he can. But as a vacuum cleaner salesman, there isn't too much he can do but listen.Unless he isn't really a vacuum cleaner salesman.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 10
Kudos: 208
Collections: the starry sky and the stars are the works of ereri





	Comfort and Lies

**Author's Note:**

> This was meant to be comedic fluff with a little angst, and it still is, sort of, but a little/lot darker than I expected. And yet not anywhere near as dark as the tags make it sound. I think? 
> 
> ALSO this was meant to be posted just before Halloween, which naturally did not happen because I'm never as fast at writing as I think I'll be. 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy :)

Levi looked up from his laptop when he heard the apartment’s front door slam shut. He was about to call out, to let Eren know he was there, when he heard the slamming of a second, inside door.

Eyebrow arching, Levi eyed the wall dividing the kitchen he sat in from the bedroom. He glanced at the floor plans he’d been studying on his laptop, the unread messages on his cell phone, and the clock ticking away on the wall. He’d hoped to see Eren before he left so he was already running late. His ride was waiting impatiently – very impatiently – outside, but… he shut his laptop, tucked his phone into his pocket, and stood.

When he stepped into the bedroom, he saw Eren had thrown himself face down on the bed. He sat on the edge of the mattress, reached out a hand to stroke Eren’s hair. “Bad day?”

Eren turned his face and smiled weakly up at him, “I thought you’d be long gone already or I’d have come and said hello. Aren’t you supposed to be on your way to your booth at the trade show?”

“The flight was delayed, so I was killing time for a couple hours. What’s wrong?”

“It’s no big deal. My professor was just more of a jerk than usual.”

“What did he do now?”

“He’s an ass, is all. He just hates me because I helped Historia report him her first year, so he likes making real sure the whole class knows I stupid I am.”

Levi’s eyes went hard, but he kept his voice soft as he stroked Eren’s hair. “You’re not stupid.”

Eren laughed, and shot a brief, mischievous glance at Levi. “Really? I seem to remember you told me I was ‘the biggest idiot this side of the state line’, when you were driving me to the hospital last month.”

Levi pinched at Eren’s arm. “That was different, _idiot_. You almost gave yourself pneumonia, running around like that and pretending you didn’t have the flu.” He turned his fingers, stroked away the slight redness on Eren’s skin. “But you’re not stupid. Never that.”

“Thank you.” Eren turned over, scooted across the blanket until he could burrow against Levi’s side. “It’s ok, he can’t fail me because the exams are all externally marked, and I get decent marks there. But today he kept calling on me and asking me all these questions, and when I couldn’t answer he’d do that, you know, _sneering _thing, so I got mad and I…sorta told him what I thought of him. Because he was being an asshole, and I swear we hadn’t gone over half the stuff he asked about, and if we had then that just shows he’s a bad teacher, doesn’t it? Plus he’s a disgusting perv, even if Historia and I couldn’t prove more than we did.”

He pressed in a little closer, wrapping his arms around Levi’s waist. His voice was muffled against Levi’s suit jacket as he continued, “So then he tells me I’m ‘an embarrassment to my father’s memory’.” He said the words mockingly, almost managing to hide the hurt underneath. “He told me the only reason I passed any of my classes was because my dad’s estate promised the dean they’d donate lots of money when I graduate, and I _know_ that’s not true, but…” Eren sighed, pulling away from Levi and flopping onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “But the whole class was there listening, and I just…I know some teachers do sometimes treat me differently because of my dad. So I guess I couldn’t really be entirely sure he was lying.” He half laughed, ruefully. “Maybe I am more stupid than I thought.” 

If he’d been watching Levi’s eyes, instead of staring up at the ceiling, Eren might have been shocked at the flash of fierce rage that ran through them.

“And by the end he’s like two inches away from my face so his spit is just landing all over me.” Eren shuddered. “After class I went to the bathroom and scrubbed my face as much as I could. He’s creepy and gross.” 

Very, very carefully, Levi fought to calm himself. Lightly, he reached out, flicking a finger at Eren’s forehead as he spoke as casually as he could manage. “There, there. Want me to beat him up for you?”

Eren laughed, turning his head to grin at Levi. “As always, thanks for the offer. Right now I’m going to rinse off any spit left on me, then I’ll go do my homework like any other good, diligent student so I can graduate as soon as possible.” He pushed himself up, planted a kiss on Levi’s cheek before sliding to the edge of the bed. “And then we’ll move, far far away, and I’ll never have to see him again.”

Levi watched Eren disappear into the bathroom, and quickly pulled out his phone. Ignoring the many increasingly irritated messages telling him his ride was ready and waiting for him outside, he sent out a brief text.

_Change of plan. Personal issue came up. Abort mission. _

There was a short pause, and then someone replied _Sex is not a good enough reason to abort mission. Get your ass dressed and out to the car. Furlan has been waiting almost an hour. _

Levi narrowed his eyes. _Fuck you. Will require Furlan’s assistance with transport, equipment, possibly clean-up. _

The reply this time took even less time. _I stand corrected, maybe it is a good enough reason. Sounds like you’re planning some amazing sex. _

_Again, fuck you. I’ll be out in a minute. _

Levi kept an eye on the bathroom door and tucked his phone away again an instant before Eren stepped back out, scrubbing at his wet hair with a towel.

“Levi, I just realized, didn’t you say you had to set up your booth today? Will you have enough time before the expo opens tomorrow?”

“It’ll be fine. Erwin is there already, he’ll set up most of it.” Levi stood. “I do have to go though, my ride should be pulling up outside any minute.”

“Ok, thanks for listening. I feel better already.”

“Good.” Levi stepped forward, wrapping an arm around Eren’s neck and pulling his head down for a deep, lingering kiss. “Now go study. I should be back late Sunday, but I’ll call you on my lunch break tomorrow.”

“Alright. Travel safe. Sell lots of vacuum cleaners.”

\--

Levi slid into the car waiting at the curb. As they pulled away, the driver threw a disposable cell phone over at him. “Boss wants to talk.”

“Boss can go fuck himself.” But as Levi met Furlan’s eyes in the rearview mirror, he sighed, opened the phone.

“What do you want?”

“Me?” The voice on the other end was rich, deep, amused. “You’re the one changing plans at the last minute.”

“This is important, Erwin.” 

“You sure you want to cancel? We might not have another go at this target for a while.”

“Let the client know we’ll get to it. Something came up.

“Uh huh. I’ll pass the word.”

There was a long, drawn out silence while neither Erwin or Levi said anything, and then there was a loud clatter as someone grabbed the phone from Erwin and a different voice yelled into the receiver, “Dammit, Levi, stop being a hardass and tell us what the hell is going on! I need to _know_. And do you need help? What’s happening? What do you need us to do? We can be on the next flight out there in…fourty-five minutes.”

Biting back a curse, Levi closed his eyes. “Hanji, calm down. And Furlan is enough, the rest of you can stand down. I’d like to handle this one myself.”

There was more clattering on the line, and then Erwin was back. “Then we’ll leave you to it, and give Eren my love when you next see him. Make sure to tell him I sold more…what is it you tell him we do these days? Oh, yes, tell him I sold more vacuum cleaners than you.” 

\--

Levi let himself into a large, empty bedroom. He sneered a little as he glanced at the fussy, oversized bed covered with black satin sheets and a leopard print rug, at the framed, stylized sketches of women wearing only artistically tied rope that hung along the walls. The man had a giant damned painting of himself, bare-chested and riding some unrealistically small horse hung over the head of his bed. If he didn’t already loathe the asshole's guts Levi would have been happy to kill him based on that smug, self-satisfied portrait alone.

But he wasn’t here to kill him today. After all, he hadn’t asked Eren if he could kill him, he’d only asked if he could beat him up.

And this time Eren hadn’t said no, the way he had every other time Levi had offered. He’d laughed, but he hadn’t said no.

Opening the closet, Levi gingerly searched through until he found a white shirt with the tags still attached. He spread it out on the bed and settled onto it. While he waited, he checked his guns, and unwrapped the kit he’d brought with him. It had been a gift from Hanji, and she’d slowly been teaching him how to use all the little tools.

He wasn’t anywhere near as good at torturing as she was, but he could get by.

As he laid everything out, Levi wondered, not for the first time, if Eren would enjoy coming along on these trips once Levi told him he, Erwin, Hanji and the rest didn’t really sell vacuum cleaners for a living, and told him the truth about what they did.

Unless he was very much mistaken, he thought Eren would take to this world like a duck to water.

But not yet. He had to finish college first.

Levi heard a noise somewhere in the house and sat back on the bed. When the door opened and a man that looked a lot like the man in the insufferable portrait over the bed, if a lot smaller and a lot less attractive, stepped in and flipped on the lights, Levi shot him with the tranquilizer gun.

He watched as the asshole’s knees crumpled, and he landed on his ass on the ground, staring incredulously at Levi.

“Who…what’s going on? Why are you in my room?” The man’s words were already slurring.

“Hello, Professor.” Levi smiled coldly as he ran one sharp tool through his fingers. “I’ve been wanting to meet with you for some time. We need to discuss your teaching methods.”


End file.
